Eat The Reich: How Would I Run It?
Rob Wieland looks at a power fantasy game that gives players the powers of darkness to fight the ultimate human evil.
Your Mission: Drink All Of Hitler’s Blood
Your mission, should you choose to devour it… - Image by Rowan, Rook and Decard
We’re coming up on a pair of spooky seasons here at Storyteller’s Forge. The first, Halloween, is absolutely my favorite time of year, even if, for me, it runs far, far longer than one month. The second is election season in America. We encourage everyone to go vote because you’ve got to let them know you’re paying attention. As it happens, I’m here to talk about a game that touches on both of these seasons.
Eat The Reich, from designer Grant Howitt and artist Will Kirkby, offers one of the sharpest pitches for an RPG I have seen in years. You play vampires coffin dropped into Occupied Paris during World War II with one mission: drink all of Hitler’s blood. A coffin drop means falling from a bomber into the outskirts of the city where your vampire body is horrifically mangled in the crash but the nun’s blood packed in the coffin allows you to heal back up to full strength quickly so you get to the fun part of your mission; slaughtering Nazis.
I have yet to talk about this game to anyone and not see their eyes light up in glee at the premise. The game is constructed as an extended one shot full of pre-made characters and stunning artwork that makes me wish I could see this as a movie or an animated mini series. It’s Inglorious Vampires directed by Evil Dead-era Sam Raimi. It’s a power fantasy where players are expected to run rampant through the hordes of ultimate human evil by using their demonic powers with no regrets or abandon. People love stories where bad guys get to be bad guys to worse guys with no remorse.
Two Nights In Bloody, Bloody Paris
The game is set for about two to three sessions depending on the time available and how long the players want to slash around in Hitler’s blood. You could probably do it in one session but it feels like the group would be skipping past some of the dark superheroes and players getting to use their ancient powers. This is not a game where players start out as humble farmers growing into powerful wizards and generals. The vampires here are at the height of their powers and expected to wade through dozens of minions until they get to something that might be a challenge, such as ripping a Panzer apart with their bare hands.
The book does contain some slight rules for making personalized characters or extending the chaos towards other Axis leaders. But honestly, the core premise is where the strength of the game lies. Hitler is the baddest of bad guys and once the vampires have torn him up, everything els feels a little like a bad sequel. This game is built for a fun palate cleanser in between longer campaigns or perhaps as a side dish while a regular campaign can’t meet. Not every campaign needs to be a years-long epic. Not every good fantasy story is a series of novels. There are some great short stories out there too. The same goes for your gaming table.
Howitt is best known for short RPGs like Honey Heist as well as the strange fantasy of games like Spire and Heart. He’s doing some fascinating work in an underserved part of role playing games where players tell tight stories in just a session or two. (He’s crowdfunding a new edition of a game that fits this description. Royal Blood tells the story of a magical heist where the players take down one of the Major Arcana of the Tarot to replace their power. It’s a wonderful mix of Leverage and Constantine.) There’s satisfaction to be found in all sorts of different games. Campaigns let players really delve into their characters. One shots encourage players to make bold choices with immediate repercussions. Howitt’s games explore the middle ground to mix character development with hard choices that spin the story into unexpected directions.
How Would I Run Eat The Reich?
The first thing I would do is to make sure the group was on the same page about historical accuracy. This is a story about vampires tearing their way through the Third Reich. We don’t have time for arguments about what type of pistol the officers would be shooting at the vampires while the vampires laughed the bullets off. History is fun for flavor and detail moreso. I would take the time to look up some fun places to set scenes and battles. Landmarks are fun places for fight scenes. Better that the vampires tear up the Palais Garner than some anonymous warehouse district. We have an unlimited imagination budget for it.
I would structure this game around three sessions. There’s a three act structure included in the game, but I would embellish on those ideas. The first session would be more of a commando raid. The vampires need to make it to a safehouse by dawn for final intelligence and equipment. Here they have to move via stealth or quick brutal action. It’s also a chance to roll some dice and highlight the power the players have in their hands. If they do so well here, the vampires will be well rested and fully fled when they embark on their mission the next evening. If not, we kick off episode 2 with a daylight raid on the safehouse where the Nazis have the advantage of sunlight.
The second session would be the war session. The vampires move from battle to battle with increasing resistance as they kill their way to Hitler’s location. I’d probably take some inspiration from the Wolfenstein games here and set up a boss battle against some dieselpunk monstrosity. They have to destroy Hitler’s armored train to make sure he doesn’t escape their fangs. The opposition would be mostly human with a boss of some technomonstrosity like a power armor soldier.
The third session would feature the vampire chasing Hitler to the Eiffel Tower while battling things of a similar power level. The Reich surely has some vampires on their side or perhaps the Werewolves of the SS are, in fact, literal werewolves. In addition to the carnage, we can get a little drama here as we explore the existing relationships between these monsters and why they ended up on one side or the other. The players catch Hitler before he escapes in the zeppelin docked at the tower. The final moments are straight out of the book: no final speech, no surprise necromancy. He’s torn apart, dying horribly and the heroes walk off into the sunrise.
There will be time enough for questions of morality in those other vampire games. Eat The Reich is available from Rowan, Rook and Decard in physical and digital formats.
Rob Wieland is an author, game designer and professional nerd. You can find him on X and Bluesky @robowieland and on YouTube as the host of Theatre Of The Mind Players, the Actual Play show that plays everything besides Dungeons & Dragons!
